Snow

It was white all day, I felt white

Is the amount beyond anyone deserves ?

Does a blind man deserve to be blind?
Does a stupid person deserve to be stupid?
Does a poor child deserve starvation?
Does an average man deserve to be road killed?

And the amount of pain one having, does he deserve it? Who is to decide how much pain one should deserve? Is it beyond the limit or well under tolerance and justice? We say these things happen naturally and nature do real justice, this does not go with my conception of justice, it is blind justice, a blind never deserves to be blind, a child does not deserve starvation neither an average person deserves to be road killed. Did nature do justice to dinosaur kind by extincting it? Does nature doing justice making a deer being prey to a lion? I do not have the big view how nature balances. It might balance things in broader perspective, it does not have any routine to take care of individual's. Contradiction is, if nature is not balancing each small part it cannot be able to balance the whole part, so how small a small part is? is it an individual? or a total biological kind? or even all the biological kinds of a planet? or everything in a galaxy?

How much pain I caused to someone and how much I am being returned, you might try to deceive me telling that 'hey boy, if are having pain now without justified reason, you have good things ahead, nature balances'. Bullshit !! if nature cannot balance in my lifetime you will tell me, 'oh boy, it will balance with your next generation, if your pain is unjustified, your next generation will get the benefit'


..... to be continued

Its about choice, no push

--Its about choice, no push.
--The deeper you try to judge someone indicates the depth of experience you have had.
--Sometimes stupid words have very deep meaning, which may take long what it is to know.
--What you wanted to do in unconscious mind, you did it unconsciously, and the effect is unconscious as well.
--Do not ignore anything, sometimes stupid words have very deeper meaning.
--Sometimes you may try to be over conscious to show or disproof your unconsciousness.
--Is it denying the truth, or accepting it?
--Sometimes words cannot express what it has underneath meaning.
--A good teacher knows his/her student deep into their performance capability, and they know the minds that don't have the gift of expressing.
--Try to keep things in its literature, that is harmony, bound by rules.
--Sometimes you create rules.
--Sometimes there are no rules, or you break the rule.
--It might be hard for them to understand you.
--It is truthful to accept the truth.
--See I had the meaning in my head, but if it had not reached you then because of weak language, or inexperience of the your mind.
--Every idea can be expressed in different literature, and it is simple to believe every literature can express or have the meaning in its domain.
--You must maintain the literature by its literature.
--Revise is the reason for literature.
--It is recursive function, it has all the meaning.
--Unaware of the knowledge of communication gives you realization of literature boundary.
--Good man keeps promise.
--Society is in continuous social process to gain more experience in its social literature.
--The word literature, how I got the meaning of? - Literature is wise enough to tell you its stories in your lifelong time. It is unstoppable process to redefine itself.
--I might be arrogant but I have reasons for that.
--Responsibility is the best virtue.
--Cycle makes it circular to cycle cyclic.
--Fights and debate teaches literature new knowledge.

Trying Metal

উপলব্ধি

১) না হচ্ছে না । কিছু দেখা যাছে না, অবশ্য ঘুমাইলে স্বপ্ন ছাড়া বেশি কিছু দেখা যায় না, তাও দুর্বল স্বপ্ন, প্রায় ই মনে থাকে না । জেগে জেগে কিছু দেখার চেষটা করাই উচিত, স্বপ্ন হলেও ।
২) আগুন লেগেছে চাঁদ এ, কাঁটায় ভরেছে ফুল, ভাল লাগা ভাল না, ভালবাসা* শুধু ভুল ।
৩) শুধু তোমার বাণী নয়গো, হে বন্ধু হে প্রিয়, মাঝে মাঝে প্রাণে তোমার পরশখানি দিও ।
৪) কাজের লোক হতে হলে কাজের ভাব প্রকাশ করা উচিত, কাজের লোকদের সেরকম মনের ভাব প্রকাশ করতে দেখি না, যদি না মনের ভাব প্রকাশ না করা কারো কাজ হয়, সাহিত্য ।
৫) বিয়ের সাথে জীবনের চুরান্ত উদ্দেশ্যের কোন বিরোধ নেই, বিয়ে করবো । বাবা হবো ।
৬) কোথাও সেরকম পাত্তা পাওয়া যাচ্ছে না, কৌতুকানুভুতি (সেন্স অফ হিউমার) চর্চা করা দরকার ।বিশেষ করে বিজাতীয় ভাষায় ।

* ভালবাসা বলে আসলে কিছু নেই, মানব সভ্যতার উন্নতির পার্শ পদার্থ হিসাবে এর আগমন হয়েছে, যখন কোন ছেলে মেয়ে ভালঅবাসার কথা বলে, তারা আসলে যৌন সর্ম্পক স্থাপন করতে চায় । বাদবাকি সর্ম্পক এর ভালবাসা হল ক্রতজ্ঞতা বোধ সর্ম্পকিত অনুভুতি ।

A dream to remember

It was a dream, dream in literal.
I was going home, some village or my village. I was with my bike, I felt relaxed going home, suddenly I heard some car sound and saw a taxi behind me, it was unusual to find a taxi in that soil built dusty village road, I was astonished and stopped willingly to see the taxi, while the taxi was crossing me a girl cried loudly "Bhaiyaaaaa", I could recognize her, she was one of my friends' girl friend. "What is she doing here?". Before I got my answer I saw another university mate in that taxi. I thought they are here, may be for some expedition or project. The taxi left me behind, I can clearly see the taxi still now, it was moving like a junk cartoon in that village road.
I was following that taxi and it stopped ahead of me in a beautiful garden like place and I saw a grand rest house there, I never saw that guest house in my village. Well forwarding to there I found my friend, that girls boyfriend. It was reasonable to find him, it was pretty joyful and surprising to find him there at my village.

But the real drama I saw after a while, it was a rally of taxis, moving like junk cartoon in soil built dusty village road, loaded with people, all my university people, my friends, my enemies, they are all I could remember, some of them are now far away from this country, but I found them all.

I felt I am host, they are all my guest. They all ported to that rest house. They were playing, they were talking, they were laughing and dancing.
I saw them, I was quite myself in my dream, the most beautiful dream so far.

Shock Number Five

"Shocks make you stronger"

Did I ever find a universal application of it? Or specially if it is the victim myself?
Shocks are making me weaker, May be I was/am a weaker person who could never stand against shocks, shocks made me weaker and turned me more eligible for new shocks. What causes pain? As an alarm of some imbalances in body and mind. Were I could manage myself to believe that pains are imbalances, by under going proper process this imbalance could have been reduced. And people say,

"It is never too late"

True , a part of process to create equilibrium. Some day scientist will find a way to calculate and model "Entropy of mind".

We all know its late when it is late, why should we give ourselves support to exists?
I am always supporting myself, may be in a wrong way, there is always a trade off supporting oneself blindly.

Is there any practical reason to follow some one blindly? Or why I might be writing this shit? Why I should feel happy unreasonably?

Let's analyze an important term and it is "Just".


My manager delivered a message to me trying to soothing my pain of the disaster of not being upgraded. Instantly I put an extra emotional weight to that short message. "what should I reply? Should I reply "Asshole, who the hell you think you are to repay in favor of my pain?" Discussing with saikat and collecting some data I came to know that the message belongs to "Just" category. Collected information was something like "manager gave that message to everyone", doing some so called formalities. It was just a message. Reply should also be just a message. "Thanks" is the perfect one. Wish I could sort out all the "Just" around. Life would have been easier.

Now why should I follow some one blindly. The core part of any relation is

Love
Respect
Faith

How could I support myself to follow her convincing thyself she is some one whom I love, for whom I have respect and faith? In reality who I do have no relation with?
Should not I categorize those feelings in "Just" group? Those feelings were just feelings. But I can't and this inability have turned me into and idiot who will die in pain who will die in vein.

Well she (or might be she) might see an IP address
76.123.226.114, 72.150.229.2 (or around)etc if she hits http://whatismyipaddress.com/.

Like wise shaila will see 118.138.204.181

Both these information are "just" category information, but I have always given extra weight to former one, fool I am. Trying to believe that I live or will live in her/their mind.

Let not there be such foolishness.

Amen