Shock Number Five

"Shocks make you stronger"

Did I ever find a universal application of it? Or specially if it is the victim myself?
Shocks are making me weaker, May be I was/am a weaker person who could never stand against shocks, shocks made me weaker and turned me more eligible for new shocks. What causes pain? As an alarm of some imbalances in body and mind. Were I could manage myself to believe that pains are imbalances, by under going proper process this imbalance could have been reduced. And people say,

"It is never too late"

True , a part of process to create equilibrium. Some day scientist will find a way to calculate and model "Entropy of mind".

We all know its late when it is late, why should we give ourselves support to exists?
I am always supporting myself, may be in a wrong way, there is always a trade off supporting oneself blindly.

Is there any practical reason to follow some one blindly? Or why I might be writing this shit? Why I should feel happy unreasonably?

Let's analyze an important term and it is "Just".


My manager delivered a message to me trying to soothing my pain of the disaster of not being upgraded. Instantly I put an extra emotional weight to that short message. "what should I reply? Should I reply "Asshole, who the hell you think you are to repay in favor of my pain?" Discussing with saikat and collecting some data I came to know that the message belongs to "Just" category. Collected information was something like "manager gave that message to everyone", doing some so called formalities. It was just a message. Reply should also be just a message. "Thanks" is the perfect one. Wish I could sort out all the "Just" around. Life would have been easier.

Now why should I follow some one blindly. The core part of any relation is

Love
Respect
Faith

How could I support myself to follow her convincing thyself she is some one whom I love, for whom I have respect and faith? In reality who I do have no relation with?
Should not I categorize those feelings in "Just" group? Those feelings were just feelings. But I can't and this inability have turned me into and idiot who will die in pain who will die in vein.

Well she (or might be she) might see an IP address
76.123.226.114, 72.150.229.2 (or around)etc if she hits http://whatismyipaddress.com/.

Like wise shaila will see 118.138.204.181

Both these information are "just" category information, but I have always given extra weight to former one, fool I am. Trying to believe that I live or will live in her/their mind.

Let not there be such foolishness.

Amen